Spilluminati: The Mar-A-Lago

You know the shape. The perfect, unbroken circle. The plush, inviting surface. It’s not just a footrest. It’s a containment unit.

They told you the secrets were in servers, in vaults, in black sites. Wrong. The real archive is in the living room, disguised as décor. This is the 30-inch truth vault.

THE DECONSTRUCTED BRIEF:

• THE VELVET CURTAIN: The boucle polyester isn’t just soft. It’s a tactile disinformation blanket. It comforts you while protecting what’s inside. The beige color? Officially neutral. Actually, the perfect camouflage against curiosity.

• THE LIFT-OFF LID (THE DECLASSIFICATION PROTOCOL): The top doesn’t hinge. It removes entirely. This is a full-access breach. Inside? Ample, undefined space. For blankets. For magazines. For the unredacted files you’re not supposed to have. The storage isn't spacious—it’s unspecified by design.

• THE FOUR PILLARS OF THE OFFICIAL STORY: The solid wood legs aren’t just for support. They’re the four cornerstones of the narrative, holding the entire operation 16.1 inches off the ground. Stable. Presentable. Unshakable in your daily life.

• THE CIRCULAR LOGIC: The round shape is key. No sharp corners. No edges to catch on. The story, like the table, perpetually returns to itself. It fits perfectly in the corner of your apartment—or the corner of your mind—without overwhelming the agreed-upon reality.

YOUR INITIATION:

It arrives weighing 25.6lbs of potential. Assembly is required. You will build the archive with your own hands, following the provided steps. This is the first test. The tools are included. The understanding comes later.

The Mar-a-Logo by Spilluminati
Some Furniture Holds Things Up. This One Holds Things Down.

Dimensions: 30"D x 30"W x 16.1"H
The coffee table is a cover story. The ottoman is the secret.
Assume the position.