CloudCourt: Prince John

"A Throne for the Tax Collector in All of Us"

Hark, peasants! Tired of sleeping on straw like some Saxon commoner? This luxurious twin-sized daybed is now accepting modest tributes (payments) from loyal subjects wise enough to recognize quality.

THE ROYAL PROCLAMATION OF VALUE:

 "TWIN MATTRESS TAXATION"
78.3" of exclusive sleeping territory - large enough for you, but not your problems (or needy peasants)

 "HIDDEN TRIBUTE DRAWERS"
Three discreet compartments to store:

• Your gold coins (for safekeeping... in my treasury)

• Important tax documents

• That letter from the Sheriff you've been ignoring

 "ROYAL USB PORTS"
Charge your devices while counting your riches (or what little remains after my levies)

 "DECEPTIVE TOP SHELF"
Perfect for hiding:

• Your last silver piece

• The Magna Carta draft

• That unflattering portrait of me

 "500 LB WEIGHT LIMIT"
Holds:

• You

• Your modest possessions

• The crushing weight of my taxation policies

 ROYAL SPECIFICATIONS:

• Fits twin mattress only (peasants don't deserve larger)

• 49.6" W - cozy enough to count your remaining coins

• 43.2" H - ideal height for looking down on others

"THIS ISN'T A BED - IT'S A PRIVILEGE... AND PRIVILEGES MUST BE PAID FOR."